I bought my wedding dress in September, finally finding my dream gown after writing about other people’s for years as a wedding reporter at Business Insider.Because of my work, I felt more prepared than the average bride going into my appointment, which paid off. I bought my gown at my first and only appointment.But there were a few aspects of the experience I wish I had known about before walking into the boutique.It’s not the consultant’s job to tell you what looks good on youIn my work, I rely on experts to tell me what’s trending in the wedding world. I’m also a “Say Yes to the Dress” fan, so I thought I would find the perfect gown by listening to the advice of an opinionated yet kind consultant.But my consultant, Abby, didn’t share a single opinion during the appointment (aside from saying I looked beautiful in every gown).Instead, she started asking me questions the second I entered the door. Before I tried on any gowns, she asked me what styles I liked and disliked, what my wedding would be like, and how I wanted to feel in the dress. Her questions helped me picture a dress that fit the day I described.
Consultants don’t tell you what to buy.
Crystal Cox/Business Insider
And when I started trying dresses on, the questions got more specific. What do you like about this dress? How does the skirt feel? Do you like that much structure in the bodice? Can you imagine yourself dancing in this?Abby didn’t push me toward any gown, instead letting me tell her what I felt in each dress. Her approach made me trust her and ensured I picked a gown I loved, not just a trendy or expensive one.Gowns look different on the hanger than they do on your bodyDuring my appointment, I got to walk through the salon and select gowns I wanted to try on based on what I saw on the hanger. I was drawn to everything from simple satin and lace patterns to sparkles and skirts with varying train lengths.I returned to my dressing room giddy to try them on, already picturing wearing some of them on my wedding day.
Samantha Grindell/Insider
But many dresses I liked on the hanger weren’t my favorite when I wore them. They were pretty gowns, but the silhouettes looked different than I’d imagined, not fitting my vision for my bridal look.I also tried on some gowns that Abby suggested I consider, some of which were nothing like the ones I picked for myself. I was skeptical but told her I would try them on anyway. And to my surprise, I liked some of her suggestions just as much as the gowns I picked, as they looked totally different on my body than on the hanger.I was so happy to be wrong, as Abby chose the dress I bought at the end of the day. Hanger appeal isn’t everything, and I think it’s a good idea for all brides to at least be open to trying on dresses that they don’t think are for them.A dress can look gorgeous and still not be your top choiceBased on my conversations with other brides and my years watching “Say Yes to the Dress,” I also thought there would be several dresses I disliked during the appointment. I imagined myself feeling extreme about gowns one way or the other, loving or hating them on sight.But to my surprise, I don’t think I disliked a single dress. Instead, some gowns didn’t feel like me.All the dresses I tried on were beautifully crafted, and they were nicer than the clothes I wear daily by far. I wrote this article wearing leggings and a sweatshirt covered in dog hair. So, of course, I thought every dress I tried on was pretty.But with Abby’s help, I figured out that while the gowns were gorgeous, only one made me feel like a bride. I would have happily attended a red-carpet event in several of the dresses, but only one was right for my wedding day.It’s easy to tune out other opinions if you’re clear about what you wantI’m pretty indecisive by nature, and I know it’s a common experience for brides to get confused as they listen to the opinions of their loved ones about what dress is right for them.I lucked out, and the family members I brought to my appointment were nothing but supportive, gently making suggestions without making me doubt my choices. But more importantly, I could hold my ground on what I wanted by clearly envisioning my groom-to-be seeing me in my dress.
I was confident.
Crystal Cox/Business Insider
Even as I tried on gown after beautiful gown, I kept the vision of my fiancé waiting for me at the end of the altar at the top of my mind, which made it easy to eliminate dresses that didn’t feel like me. If I started to feel confused by the number of white dresses in the fitting room, I took a breath and imagined holding hands with my fiancé as we welcomed our guests to the big day.When I focused on what the dress was for, the choice was simple.
