My parents fled the war in Somalia in 1992 when I was 5 to start a new life in the US.I grew up in poverty, but despite the challenges, I witnessed my parents’ unwavering determination and resilience. Their example instilled in me a profound belief in the power of education and hard work.While studying psychology during undergrad, my daughter was born prematurely due to Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Inspired by the NICU nurses who cared for her, I decided to pursue a career in nursing.As I witnessed the challenges exacerbated by the effects of the pandemic, I decided to leave my job and pursue full-time entrepreneurship. A nursing colleague and I cofounded a healthcare startup in 2019. It was incredibly rewarding.Then in 2022, I was tested in ways I never imagined. I lost my job, my home, and almost everything I owned along with deep formative relationships, my identity, and my entire sense of self.At the height of my success, I lost it allMy marriage with my partner of 20 years, my high school sweetheart, was strained by various challenges that tested our resilience.After going through marriage counseling, I gained strength and clarity and decided to file for divorce.When we began the divorce process, I moved my daughter and myself to my mom’s for support.While my marriage was ending, I lost my jobDuring this challenging period, my startup was growing rapidly, and the weight of imposter syndrome, coupled with the stress of my personal life, took its toll on my work. After my divorce was finalized in September 2022, I was fired from the startup.These major losses shook me to my core. I was filled with inadequacy, regret, and deep shame and felt like a complete failure.There were days when even getting out of bed seemed impossible. I was exhausted and frequently woke up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat from nightmares.
This spiral made me feel helpless and unable to see a way forward for myself and my daughter. I lost all motivation to do anything — to eat, go outside, or face anyone. I withdrew from the world. I felt isolated and consumed by my thoughts, and all I could do was cry.My darkest moment was when I was convinced my absence would benefit my loved ones. Terrified, I knew I had to change everything to break that cycle.Taking small steps to heal changed my trajectoryAt this turning point, I knew I couldn’t do it alone anymore.I leaned heavily on my loved ones for emotional support and started therapy. I made small, deliberate changes to regain my sense of self. I took long walks. I went to the gym. I baked. I journaled and listened to affirmations I wrote and recorded, on repeat, to quiet the loud, terrifying thoughts and to hear a different perspective.It wasn’t a perfect, linear journey. I knew I needed time and space to allow myself to grieve, and it was a slow and agonizing process.Eventually, I let go of the idea that I had to feel completely whole in an unreasonable timeframe. That was when things truly aligned and the subtle, incremental changes stacked.I lost everything, but I gained even more in the endI don’t know if I’m completely healed but I’m not in that dark place anymore. I’m still living at home with my mom and slowly rebuilding a life for my daughter and me.I’ve applied to a few part-time nursing positions at hospitals near me so I can still focus on my daughter. I’ve also started brainstorming an idea for a video podcast discussing nursing, entrepreneurship, burnout, mental health, therapy, and self-care.I’m enjoying the little things again, like playing with makeup with my daughter. I’ve perfected my Snickerdoodle recipe and reconnected with my faith. I’m navigating single parenthood better. I finally feel like myself again, but I’m deeply, fundamentally changed — in a good way.Sharing my story helped me connect with others and build a supportive communityI first shared my story on LinkedIn. It was uncomfortable being vulnerable, but I knew I had to share it because the discomfort I felt before clicking the ‘post’ button paled in comparison to the potential positive impact it could have on someone.Shortly after, responses flooded in. The most beautiful, unexpected outcome was that my story allowed me to connect with people worldwide.If you’re feeling lost and alone, please ask for help and push through because it does get better. After the darkness, the dawn comes.
